All I can say is wow! Thank you all for spreading the word and leaving such helpful comments. I never expected such an overwhelming response. I guess it helps that I got linked to from MSN’s MoneyBlog. I have no idea how Karen found my little blog, but I’m glad she did. Thanks! And welcome readers from MSN.
As promised here is my response to that post and your comments:
I’m a romantic. I love the idea of surprising Bird with a proposal and a ring. But I’m also a realist. I understand that she has to wear it and look at it forever, not to mention that the ring is going to be getting a lot of attention for the next several months. We’ve been talking about marriage, so it won’t come as a surprise to her that I’m asking her to marry me…but I do want the when, where, and how of the proposal to be a surprise. After reading through your many comments, I have a few ideas of what I can do to get a ring she’ll truly love and still have it be somewhat of a surprise.
It was very interesting to read your comments on the diamond quality versus size debate. I had talked to two of my female coworkers and both of them said size was more important than quality. They said girls that said otherwise were lying. Maybe my coworkers are just shallow. 
They argued that people notice the size right away and nobody goes around looking at diamonds under microscopes. That seemed to make sense to me. However, most of your comments begged to differ. Everyone really seemed to stress quality. I guess I can see both sides of this argument. I obviously don’t want to buy a low-quality stone just because it’s huge, but I still think that people primarily notice the size. Nobody I know ever talks about the color or clarity of a diamond (except when you’re buying one).
As far as metals go…I already knew that yellow gold was out. That is one thing she had made clear in the past. Many of you mentioned I should look to Bird’s current jewelry, but alas, she doesn’t wear much. She doesn’t wear any rings and she primarily only wears one pair of pearl earrings. But here’s a fun tidbit I did recently find out…Bird has a nickel allergy which apparently rules out the white gold option. So it looks like it’s going to have to be platinum. While conducting research online, I had read that palladium is similar to white gold in price but it’s in the platinum family and shares its hypoallergenic properties. Apparently, it’s not that popular as no one seemed to mention anything about it in the comments. It’s mostly a white gold versus platinum debate and due to her allergy, it looks like I’ll be going with platinum.
For now, I’ve mostly been browsing and researching online. In the next few days I’ll probably go out and explore the brick and mortar stores (trying to avoid mall stores though).
So those are my initial thoughts. This is fun. Please continue to give me any input you would like to share. Thank you all for being a part of this big decision and for your encouragement. I hope you continue to read along as I continue my search and as always I will keep you posted on the latest developments.
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m glad you’re making progress!
One more thought on size- it depends on the girl. I craft, bake, and am getting into gardening. My ring (.7 I think)is the perfect size for me because it doesn’t get in the way. As we were looking at wedding bands he wanted me to try on 1 carat rings and they all seemed to big to me.
Like all material possesions there are people that will judge you (and her) based on the ring. What matters is how each of you feel about the ring. I have friends that would die if they got less than 1 (others who are hoping for 2) and yet others who don’t care.
If you aren’t sure and going with the platinum family stick with either a brilliant cut or emerald cut solitare. Both are classic and since she does not wear much jewelry it sounds as if something simple and classy will be exactly what she would like. Especially since she wears pearls I would probably guess you won’t go wrong with an emerald cut. Good luck!
Good luck finding a ring Forest and congrats! I will say many women I know do comment on the clarity of the ring as well as the size, but in my humble opinion, I think quality(clarity), not quantity(size) is best.
Just a quick comment on size vs. quality issue: I really believe that the whole “quality” debate is something that is motivated by the diamond industry’s desire to find a way to make smaller diamonds more marketable (ie: “sure, it may not be a full carot, but it has supurb clarity and is completely colorless”). Go with size. As you observed, that’s really the extent to which people notice the vast majority of diamonds.
Forgive me for not reading the earlier posts first. Mr M and I were engagement ring shopping earlier this year, unfortunately he hasn’t been working so that is on hold. This is such a personal decision that without knowing your soon to be fiancee it’s hard to give advice. Mr M and I actually shopped together and have decided what to get when we have the money, a 3 stone asscher cut around 1 carat total weight.
Most of my friends looked at rings with their now husbands to give them a starting point, the guys then went off with that information to get the actual ring on their own. To me the cut and style is most important, if you gave me a round stone I wouldn’t be happy. Do you know what cut and style (solitaire, 3 stone, side stones etc) she likes??? Most of my friends were adamant about cut, style and minimum carat size, everything else was less important. It’s too bad she is allergic to the white gold, platinum is pricey. But to some people it’s platinum or nothing. I’d consider palladium, but to me the metal isn’t important.
As for color and clarity I think there are minimum values you should set, as in no worse than G color and VS1 clarity. You’ll pay alot more for D color and IF clarity and probably couldn’t tell the difference. For me the size of the diamond depends on the size of the hand, a 2 carat ring would look gaudy on my tiny hands. If I had big hands a 1 carat ring might look underwhelming. Most of my friends wanted at least a carat solitaire, I’m happy with the 1 carat total weight which is a lot cheaper. Good luck whatever you decide!
Not to beat a dead horse you didn’t even address, but you need to know her feelings on diamonds. For many people, diamonds are very political and spiritual. Her opinion on conflict diamonds, or the diamond industry in general, could be very important.
@ dogatemyfinances – I’m sorry I didn’t address it. You’re right, a lot of people did mention avoiding the diamond route all together. However, I have now confirmed with her that she does indeed want a diamond. Thanks again for your input, I appreciate it.